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Stereophonics Gig Photos
Stereophonics Gig Photos 2
Harvey Pelican and the Lads
Biography of Harvey Pelican and the Lads
This Is The News
This Is The News Part Deux
Mine and Ali's Terrific One Liners - To Go With Your Cookies
Sandwichian Works
Big Mitch's Dedication Page
The Dark Side
Contact Page
The Editor and Sandwichian Marks weekly pledge
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"The Shining Boy"
A chilling picture of this seemingly powerful boy |
World's First Looping Rollercoaster to be Closed
The world's first looping rollercoaster based in North Scotland has been closed due to "Safety fears". This picture was taken just after the last carriage literally rolled off the track. But for those involved in the "Last ride" it was quite a turbulent time. Derek McDougal has worked on the coaster for 35 years and he is deeply saddened by it's closure.
The Rollercoaster itself is set in the very north of Scotland, tucked away in the mountainside. It was originally built by house builders in the area who had excessive amounts of stone to get rid of. This stone was used for the building of a 30-foot rollercoaster that would thrill thousands. But things turned sour in the 1980's when 4 people were tragically killed when riding. Amid safety fears, the coaster was closed for ever, but local cavemen decided to resurrect the rollercoaster and run it "illegally".
Mr McDougal was at the heart of the plan and was "disappointed" when the government found out about his nasty plan.
Now the rollercoaster will finally be shut down and Mr McDougal will now face the wrath of a prison sentence. Either that or locals will force the Scotsman to take one last ride on the "Coaster of death".
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The Acquired Boy: Fieldwork
In a separate fieldwork exercise undertaken by Sandwichian Mark, we can confirm that child labour does still exist. We turn our attention to the Editor's and Sandwichian Mark's street where some recent events have shocked Sandwichian Mark as he explains. The Acquired Boy is a teenage boy, who a local family have "acquired" or in our words "Stolen" to complete menial tasks. As much as the Acquired Boy seems to be illegal and his feat resting somewhat in his "owners" hands we did find out that he has some ability.
1. His uncanny ability to fix cars. Sandwichian Mark has acknowledged on several occasions now that the Acquired Boy can often be seen working late at night fixing his owner's car(s). Sent out late in the harsh wintry conditions the Acquired Boy often slaves away at the car, seemingly with the ability of a car thief.
2. His solitary confinement in a small kennel in the backyard. The Acquired Boy can be seen "rustling about" in a kennel where he spends most of his time repeating the words "Papa" and "Tuna". Sandwichian Mark, after months of research has confirmed to us that his language is restricted to these two words, in which we hear him practically begging for food, with only the comfort of a spanner and a spare wheel.
3. The possibility of him actually being inhuman. Sandwichian Mark has also pointed out that the Acquired Boy may not be human after all, as he spotted the owners thrusting him into a car late at night on Saturday the 6th January 2001, seemingly being sent for his weekly "repair and refuel session" in which we believe the Acquired Boy is possibly programmed to complete more tasks for the greedy family, who will remain nameless at this point.
Throughout the past months we have seen the Acquired Boy undertaking many tasks associated with slavery. Sandwichian Mark declares this will not be the end of the saga, and he will be shortly on the phone to Customs and Excise demanding a report into possible slave trading.
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Santa Misses Out Various Counties "By Mistake"
Santa Claus today declared that he did in fact forget to visit several countries this Christmas, which left millions bitterly disappointed. Areas of South America and Europe were "forgotten" by Santa this year as he struggled to cope with the delivering of so many presents. It is rumoured that Santa left the delivery of the presents until the last possible moment, hindering global joy at this festive time. Rumours have been scotched that Santa Claus will have to make two separate dates for Christmas in the calender because of excessive amounts of gifts.
Instead he blames it on the weather and Rudolph's "inaccuracies" this year, stating that next year "Everyone will receive their presents on time."
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Car Thieving Blamed on Stray Dogs
Car thieving has hit an all time high and emergency safety procedures are ready to be implemented at any moment now.
The car thieving has been blamed on the increase in stray animals, particularly dogs, looking for shelter at night. How these dogs have learnt the knack of entering an unmanned vehicle is unknown, but evidence shows that the dogs work in tandem to break an entry. This picture taken early morning on Wednesday shows that the dogs are more than equipped to challenge the emergency services in stopping such crimes from happening.
The public have been warned of the dangers and have been asked to contact the police on any suspicion of a dog possibly trying to steal a car. It has been rumoured that these dogs, if desperate are breaking an entry to manned vehicles and motorists have been warned that they now drive at their own risk.
Any dog suspected of stealing a motor vehicle can expect immediate arrest and prosecution.
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Riding of Bikes Prohibited
The riding of bikes has been prohibited in certain parts of the UK. Anyone found riding their bike in the "normal manner" will be fined £200 on the spot by the Bicycle Brigade. We see walkers shown on this picture picking up their bikes and carrying them through "restricted terrains". Too many careless bikers have been seen or heard causing disruption to other members of the public and the Bicycle Brigade have brought in these measures to stop any more dangerous incidents occurring in future.
These fines will not show up on any criminal record, but persistent offenders could find themselves in a court if they continue to disobey the new laws.
This sport is going to be hit hard by the new laws as one bicycle fanatic said "It's not really the same is it carrying the bike?, but I'm not going to dish out £200 every time I can't be bothered."
We now wait to see how tough the Bicycle Brigade's job gets.
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Beware of Randomly Placed Archers
A formal statement has been issued warning people of randomly placed archers. Too Many Sandwiches got this photo moments before a stray arrow seriously injured our photographer, proving that anyone in the firing line is in danger of being shot by an arrow.
The archers are placed at selected a height on dangerous terrains, picking off any passer by that looks to be causing a nuisance. The archers are part of a "Back to Basics" plan that sees defence measures of past centuries being implemented in today's society. To be a Robin Hood of the 21st century is an opportunity that many would jump at, yet it seems this group of archers are a strong movement that may require military action if we are to walk safely in mountainous terrain again.
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